Mar-a-Lago, FL — In a shocking statement during an interview in Florida, President Donald Trump claimed that he, not Neil Armstrong, was actually the first man to set foot on the Moon. The revelation, delivered with the confidence of a man who once tried to buy Greenland, left the crowd both bewildered and enthusiastically cheering.
“A lot of people don’t know this, but I was actually the first guy on the Moon. Some say Neil Armstrong, but believe me, I was there first. It was a beautiful Moon, a tremendous Moon—many people are saying that. And I did it without those bulky astronaut suits. Just me, my incredible hair, and a very strong golf swing.”
Trump went on to claim that he personally designed the Apollo 11 spacecraft, which he described as “a fantastic, world-class rocket—much better than what NASA has now,” before insisting that his Moon landing was “perfect, probably the best landing anyone has ever seen.”
NASA Responds
Shortly after Trump’s statement, NASA released a brief yet exhausted-sounding statement:
“No. Just… no.”
However, this did not stop Trump supporters from flooding social media with hashtags like #TrumpOnTheMoon and #MoonLandingHoaxWasAboutTrump, arguing that history books had been rewritten by the “fake news” media.
Trump Promises to Return to the Moon (With His Name on It)
Doubling down on his claim, Trump vowed that, if re-elected, he would build a “Trump Tower Lunar” and rename the Moon “Trump’s Moon,” calling it a “very, very classy rebranding.”
“The Moon has been around for a long time, folks, but let’s be honest—it’s never had a real leader. I will be the best leader the Moon has ever seen. Better than Buzz Aldrin, better than the fake astronauts they have now. And by the way, the Moon loves me. Tremendous support from the Moon.”
At press time, historians, scientists, and reality itself were unavailable for comment.